I honestly did not think it was possible for me to dislike an athlete this much.
I have disliked many athletes for irrational reasons. Shaq, Wayne Getzky, Karl Malone, Roger Clemons, Peyton Manning, Antione Walker. Brett Favre used to be my number one foe. He is no longer.
It hands down is Lebron James.
Several people have ranted and raved about how much of an asshole he is for dragging Cleveland fans through the mud and announcing his departure on television. Several have blasted him for being a total pussy for teaming with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh instead of trying to lead his own team to the promised land. And trust me, both reasons did not help his cause for my approval.
But I have ALWAYS hated the Miami Heat. Always. After I jumped on the Piston's bandwagon during the Grant Hill era, Miami always seemed to beat Detroit. I will never forget that they were the only team in the East that swept the season series with Detroit in 1997. And then they rivaled my second favorite team, the New York Knicks during the late 90's and early 00's. And it felt great every time the Knicks beat their ass.
And then in 2000, they swept the Detroit Pistons the same week my father passed away. Man, I fucking hate the Miami Heat. I always have, and always will. I hate them then, I hate them now. I hate Tim Hardaway (his disrespectful remarks toward John Amaechi after he came out about being a homosexual added to the fire). I hate Jamal Mashburn. I hated Dan Marjle until I went to his alma matter.
I hate Pat Riley. Hated him then, and hate him now. Especially knowing his history: He coached a team that beat the Pistons in the late 80's, then went to New York (once again, my consolation prize team), and bolted them for Miami. Then to make matters worse, he traded for Shaq, lucked out with Dwyane Wade (even Pat Riley admitted that had he picked number four, he would have taken Bosh over Wade. Nobody knew then that Wade would be this good), and then he came back right in time to coach the Heat past my Pistons in 2006.
And that Heat team had every athlete that I detested. Shaq, Antione Walker, Gary Payton, and leftover Alonzo Mourning.
Miami also has a shitty fan base. Seriously, Miami fans, did any of you even notice that you guys won a title in the last five years? Nobody in Miami even gave a shit when the Marlins won the World Series. What a shitty sports town. They don't deserve these guys.
And they have a non-plural name. Fuck non-plural names. Fuck the Magic. Fuck the Jazz. Fuck the Thunder. Fuck the Avalanche. Fuck the Lightening. Fuck the Wild. Fuck every WNBA team that has those stupid team names (Shock, Fever, Liberty, there are too many). Fuck every dipshit that thinks they're smart for asking me that stupid trivia question: "What are the teams in the four major sports that don't end with 's'? LoL!". Fuck anyone reading this that could potentially jeopardize me getting work as a substitute teacher.
Also, fuck Lebron for pissing me off so much that I ignored the free agent analysis that I was gonna post tomorrow and the other blog post that I was working on.
But most importantly, fuck the Miami Heat.
Now that I have bored you with the detailed history on my hatred for the Miami Heat, you can probably understand why I am a little irritated that Lebron went there.
Honestly, I don't see how any NBA fan could ever root for him. It was not so bad that he had a total lack of respect for the Cleveland faithful. It was not so much that he is so pompous and arrogant that he had the ego to make it a prime-time national television event. But what the fuck, did he really have to shift the power of the league to Miami?
I guess when I reflect on it all, at the end of the day, it's just basketball. And he's just a person who wants to succeed. Really, does he owe anyone anything? I know that Cleveland fans have it bad, but the Caviler's front office practically did everything that they could to not win a title. From letting Carlos Boozer walk (all they had to do was match Utah's offer to keep him), to spending too much money on Zydruan Ilgauskus and Larry Hughes, to holding onto Wally Z's expiring deal for too long during the 2009 season; to trading for Shaq when he was way past his prime, took up too much money on the payroll, and made the team worse.
By the way, after reading Dan Gilbert's letter to Cleveland fans, the Cavaliers are now my third favorite team until they win a title. How can you not root for them? Cleveland is the most cursed sports city in the nation. Google the history sometime, because I don't feel like writing about it right now. But how awesome would it be if they won a title without Lebron? Really awesome, that's how awesome. Almost like when the Edmonton Oilers won the Stanley Cup without Wayne Gretzky, which is about the equivalent of having intercourse with a different super model every day for the rest of your life and having everyone that you hated in high school working as slaves building you a castle on the beach.
But really, does Lebron really owe anyone anything? When you really think about it, he's going to play basketball with some of his best friends in a nice city which gives him the best chance to win a title and succeed at what he loves doing second most (because it's obvious that he loves being an arrogant, attention whoring asshole more than anything else). Of course someone who does not really care about sports and is too logical for these sorts of things would say that. After all, Hitler was just a guy doing what he was passionate about and was looking for the best possible chance to succeed. And even though he was doing what he loved and was striving to succeed. It does not mean it was necessarily the right thing to do.
Although, I'm not so sure that this means automatic titles. Sure, they're always going to have three of the best four players in any playoff series. But it's not like they can rest at all during games. These guys are going to log 40 minutes a game easily. And if one of them gets injured (which Wade has a little habit of doing), that means the other two have to pick up the slack night in and night out. Teams still need role players to win titles. Guys who play their asses off. Guys that can hit wide open shots under pressure. Guys that can lock down anyone in any given game.
Aren't the Lakers still better? Odom, Kobe, and Artest are all fine defenders. Guys that can take turns on Wade and Lebron (and I'm sure Odom can sure handle Bosh). And I don't know that Bosh can handle Pau Gasol that well. I guess we'll have to let them play the game in the end.
Either way, it will be interesting. All I know is that I am rooting for Kobe Bryant, Derrick Rose, Kevin Durant, and John Wall even harder. Players that are not total pussies. Seriously, would Jordan have copped out to this degree? Fuck no, Jordan would be out for blood. Jordan would try harder to bring guys to his team. Jordan would look at these conceited pricks and say "they think they're so good, do they? Wait until the playoffs."
Then again, Jordan would have put more pressure on the Cleveland front office and not let them overpay for chumps like Larry Hughes. Jordan would have put the fear of God in Dan Gilbert. Jordan wouldn't make his departure a big circus.
Then again, Jordan wouldn't have folded, pussed out, and let his team lose like Lebron did to the Cavs last season in the playoffs.