I wish I had Fuck You Money

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I wish I had fuck you money.

I was in line behind this dude at 7-11 just now, who was trying to haggle five corn dogs for $1.50 (down from $2.00). I stepped in and said "I will give you $60 for those corn dogs". See, if I had fuck you money, I could have legitimately bought those corn dogs for $60 without thinking twice about it. Just to ruin that guy's night for my own personal enjoyment. Like Bill Gates - If I were him, I would have just bought everything on the 7-11 grille for $1000 just so that guy wouldn't be able to get anything. Then I'd throw it all away on my way out. Because let's face it: I'm Bill Gates. I deserve better than shitty, greasy 7-11 food.

Bill Gates has 72 billion dollars. SEVENTY-TWO BILLION. Just think about how much money that is for a second. He could shoot a kid and get away with it. Seriously, if Bill Gates shot and murdered your child, and said, "Hey! Sorry about Nicky, but he called me a faggot. And nobody calls Bill Gates a faggot and gets away with it! Tell ya what, here's a billion dollars if you promise to not press charges...", you'd at least think about it, right? After all, it's just a child, you can always make another one. And afford to send that child to a nice private school, take it to Disneyland every weekend, buy them all the Legos they want. Let's be honest, if you're dumb enough to turn down a billion dollars, you're probably too stupid to properly raise a child in the first place.

If you had a billion dollars, you could buy a bear made out of golden Legos!

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