You are Fat, not a Victim of Discrimination

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I was filling out job applications not too long ago, and one of the applications stated at the bottom that the company "Does not discriminate on basis of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, bla bla bla bla bla." Somewhere in the statement it included "weight", meaning that the company does not discriminate on how fat or thin an applicant might be.

My question is: Why? Why are fat people all of a sudden considered their own group of people? It's not like people are born fatasses. I know there are some people with disabilities and deficiencies that lead them to being overweight, but come the fuck on, how many of those people actually make up the entire wide-load population?

Some may argue that people in fact do not have choices, and that kids may be raised on nothing but frozen pizza and leftover frozen pizza because their teenage mother is too busy getting knocked up again to cook a healthy meal. Yeah, there may be some of those, but once again, how much of the entire fat population consists of those?

You know how I know these sorts of fat people are rare? Because I was a fat kid myself. That's right. Much of my childhood consisted of wearing size 40 pants (which is a huge fucking deal when you're 12) and extra-large Stone Cold Steve Austin shirts. I used to order two Whoppers at Burger King for myself whenever I ate out, and I drank a two liter of soda pop each day. I cannot say that I am proud of my childhood. In fact, I am sort of embarrassed. If I saw my teenage counterpart today, my first thought would probably be "There's no WAY that kid isn't changing my oil in ten years."

Did I have some sort of disability? No. Did I have shitty parents? Well, yes, one of them was. But it had nothing to do with how unhealthy I was, because my sister was healthy her entire life. It was because I chose to eat junk food as if the world was going to end, and because I sat on my fat ass and watched six hours of television when I got home from school (Yes, six hours. That was not an error).

Growing up a tub of lard, I usually hung out with all of the other fat kids. Because lets face it: most fat kids are outcasts. Also, as my theory with women hanging out with ugly women to make themselves stand out and look more attractive; fat people hang out with other fatter people in effort to make themselves look thinner. I'm pretty sure I that was not the only fat person that ever thought: "Well I'm not that thin, but at least I am not as big as that guy". All of the other fat kids were in as much denial about their weight as I was. We all made excuses when we ate at fast food restaurants. We all hid candy into our bedrooms like we were sneaking in alcohol. Of all the fat kids I hung out with, none of them had a legitimate disability or disease to explain their plus size. There was one kid I knew that had a mother that force fed him. That was it.

So can you understand why I have no sympathy for "fat" people? It's easy for someone that has been fit their entire life, because they are generally not around every other fatass "suffering" from obesity. That's another thing I don't understand, when someone claims that people "suffer" from obesity. Boo hoo hoo! I feel bad for people that suffer from cancer, or AIDS, because those are incurable diseases. You might not know this, but there is actually a cure for obesity. And I know the secret. It's called a steady dose of diet and exercise! With a pinch of patience and discipline.

At around age 15 I decided that I wanted to get my heavy self into shape. I did this because having minimal energy, wearing clothes that barely fit, and being exhausted from walking up a flight of stairs was just not fun anymore. What did I do? I played sports year round, and walked a mile home from school every day. Right after I turned fifteen, I was 5'4" and 210 pounds. Right before my sixteenth birthday, I was 5'5" and 175 pounds. By age eighteen, I was 155 pounds.

It took a ton of patience and determination, but anyone can do it. And guess what? You might not believe this, but I FELT MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF! No joke. There is no bigger ego boost than having to purchase brand new pairs of pants because your old ones are too big. I had a fuckload more energy to do whatever I wanted, because simply walking no longer felt like a chore.

Some may counter that some people have injuries or Asthma, which make it difficult for someone to exercise consistently. Well here's my counter: this actually happened to me. I had a thigh injury that I did not know how to nurse because I did not have health insurance while I was in college. So I had to go a good 18 months without exercising. Add this element with the fact that I relied on cafeteria food in the dorms to feed myself, and the fact that I never was really on a strict diet to begin with, within a good three years, I put all of that weight back on.

Now I have experienced becoming overweight as both a child AND an adult. I still made the same excuses. My pants don't fit because the dryer shrank them. I will lose this weight once my legs heal (which was not true, because whenever my legs did heal, they would get re-stressed because of the increased pressure I was putting on them from being heavier). I might have put on some weight, but I am not nearly as fat as the kid down the hall. Whatever, I am happier eating all the junkfood I can choke down anyway (more on this point later).

Then came a point where I was over 200 pounds again, I did not have the energy that I once possessed, and I had the most delicious muffin top baking every time I put a pair of jeans on. I, like most fat people, was in some major denial. Then I came home from college one summer, and three out of the first five people were brutally honest and could not help but say "Woah Kirk, you put on some weight!".

Oh yeah. That got me fired up. In a way, I am glad that they said it, because I would not have been as motivated otherwise. Which by the way, this was a rare occasion that people were being brutally honest with me, but why is it that nobody ever tells someone that they're getting fat? People get all concerned when others close to them start drinking heavily or smoking pot, but never when someone's eating habits get out of control. What a bunch of hypocrisy.

Also, I know someone who at one point was criticized all of the time for being "too thin", yet the same people that criticized them for being thin never said a word to me when I was beginning to stretch my clothes out and form multiple chins. Is it a jealousy thing? Like are people more comfortable in seeing me be fat, because it makes them feel better inside? Just a thought.

Anyway, I could not run myself into shape because as I said prior, the increased baggage was too much stress on my legs. So what did I do? Say fuck it, I'll remain a fatass? Hell no. I spent the next week treating myself to all of the greasy and sweet foods I could swallow, because following that week I went on an extensive diet where I only ate one meal a day. That's right, I only ate one meal a day. I made sure to get all of the food groups in that one meal, but I did it for six weeks and lost 25 pounds*. Once I lost that weight, I was able to ease back into running again, and lost 15 more pounds. By the end of the summer, I was 170 pounds.

Am I doing this to brag? Well yeah, actually I am. But seriously, I am doing this because I feel that not enough people are serious enough about this subject. When I was in school, obesity and overweight issues were scarcely addressed. Yeah, they would say that the more you weigh the more likely it is that you'll get a heart attack and have high cholesterol and bla bla bla. Come on. Public schools cannot even discourage kids from smoking cigarettes. Do you really think they can motivate some fat kids to lose weight by telling them that they might not live as long?

They should tell the fat kids some other drawbacks from being fat. For instance, you're more likely to get laid if you're in shape. Lets face it, unless you have money, power, or fame (or all three, and how many of those under the age of 25 exist?) if you're fat, it's slim pickings. I don't mean slim in a good way either. Also worth noting to women, your weight is invertedly proportional to how much your husband will make. Also ladies, the more you weigh, the more likely it is that your lover will be a high school dropout, drug addict, alcoholic, etc.

The point is that everyone should encourage fat people to lose weight because it will increase their odds of getting laid. We should also mention that being in shape will make you much happier. Look, don't get me wrong, I don't think that there is anything wrong with be heavy. If you want to eat all of the Big Macs and cupcakes you want, and if that makes you happy, I support you 100%. There's nothing better than being an American and living life the way you choose to. I just think that people need to stop being so damn sensitive to fat people, because most of the time it's a life choice, not a disease. After all, we never sympathize with alcoholics or pot smokers do we?

Furthermore, I personally want to encourage and motivate heavier people to drop some pounds. Coming from someone who has been there twice, I wanted give these whales a perspective from the other side. I wanted to educated these fatasses in denial that have the stupid "Whatever, I am proud of who I am" mentality. I can legitimately say that I am much more happy being thin.

* Note: I do not recommend that anyone go on the diet that I did to lose weight. You should probably consult a professional first. Several people told me that what I did was risky and unhealthy. Fuck them. Doctors generally don't know what they're talking about anyway. I lost a reasonable amount of weight, and am in control of my fitness.