I was checking out the humor section in Barnes N' Noble today, and could not help but notice that out of the ten shelves dedicated to "humorous" books, that there was nearly an entire shelf full of books about farts.
Who the hell writes these books? Don't get me wrong, I like the occasional fart joke. But an entire shelf of books about farts, let alone one book about farts is taking it a little to far if you ask me. It's almost like these smart phones with their calendar applications. I don't need a fucking phone to remember when my appointments and deadlines are. Besides, people that use smart phones to schedule their lives are either too stupid to remember important events, or they think their lives are so important that they have to pull out their phones in front of everybody to write down an event. I fucking hate people that use smart phones.
People that use smart phones are dipshits
One of the books had instructions on how to fart, and when to fart and when not to fart. Farting is not fucking rocket science. If you feel a fart coming on, just let it go. I never give a damn about collateral damage of my farts, and neither should you.
The people that buy these kinds of books are usually women that think they would make cute gifts for their fathers/sons/lovers. No man in his right mind would ever buy one of these books because men have more important things to read, like mortgages and license agreements. If you really want to get your man something fun/interesting to read, either buy them pornography or anything written by Neil Strauss. Books about farts are stupid.
If you bought this book, chances are it was for a person that pays your bills
The only people that would find a book about farts humorous is someone whose IQ is below 80. In other words, mentally challenged people and children, and that's being generous. Nobody wants to read a book about farts. If they did, then they would be flying off the shelves at Barnes N' Nobel as opposed to collecting dust.