I would much rather celebrate Columbus Day than Indigenous People's Day

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Hey idiots, do you not understand context? Before 1492, you know how many people East of the Atlantic were aware that there existed two entire continents between Europe and Asia? Zero. If people were aware of the amount of land and resources that were available, they would have started coming over long before Columbus[1]. Saying that Columbus "didn't discover America because people were already there" would be like an astronaut discovering a planet with humans on it, but dismissing the achievement because the people there already knew about it. Well, no shit? Of course the people there already know about it. They fucking live there. It's not like people in America in 1492 had smartphones and satellites where they could just send text messages saying "Hey bro, where u at, theres land here too lol"

[1]Remember that time Vikings found shitty, barely habitable, frozen land with little value that inspired millions to hop on a boat and leave their homes behind, leading to an unprecedented era of progress in human history? Me neither.

Speaking of which, that's why we don't celebrate Indigenous People's Day. If the people in Pre-Columbian America wanted their own holiday, then they should have figured out how to build a boat and find Western civilization before Western civilization found them. But they didn't, because they were stuck in the Stone Age. Nobody gives a shit that Mayans could predict full moons and eclipses with unprecedented accuracy. The shape of the moon isn't going to help put food on my table. And the idea that we should change Columbus Day to Indigenous People's Day on the premise that Columbus enslaved and killed people is fucking stupid. Why?

Because people in America enslaved and killed each other long before, and after, Columbus discovered America

Hypocrisy much? Sorry, can't have it both ways. Like Columbus, many of the people in America were responsible for wars, looting, slavery, and human suffering. The main difference is that Columbus's accomplishments[2] opened the door for freedom, the United States of America, the Industrial Revolution, electricity, cars, planes, Bang Bros, walking on the moon, iPhones, Super Bowls, birth control pills, video games, and much more. Does anyone honestly think that had the Americas been left alone, that the people there would have had an enlightenment period? I doubt it. If they only had Aristotle.

[2]Christopher Columbus was a hard working, skilled sailor that risked his life and reputation for seeking an alternate route to India, so that shipping and trade would be more efficient. Nobody believed in him, and Columbus almost didn't get the funding he needed. Then he got on a piece of wood and sailed into open waters, not knowing if he would return. Pretty ballsy if you ask me. What have you done with your life lately? Besides complain that your internet failed while you were watching Netflix?

While schools across the country tend to be dishonest and hide the horrible truths about Columbus when introducing him to children[3], I am certain that nobody celebrates Columbus Day for the horrors and atrocities that Columbus committed. We celebrate Columbus Day for the discovery of America, which helped millions of people escape religious persecution and tyranny, and also opened the door for all of those things I mentioned earlier. To not honor the discovery of America, and what it meant to the world and everyone living today (and since), simply because the man who discovered America was also responsible for so much suffering would be like not celebrating Memorial Day because of events like the Mai Lai Massacre, and the fact that American soldiers have been responsible for so much human suffering. After all, nobody looks at George Washington on the dollar bill thinking "That monster! He owned slaves and was responsible for countless wars!" Or at least I don't, I think "That bad motha fucka is my president." #godblessamerica

[3]Just to be clear, I am in no way defending Columbus for his evil deeds. Columbus should be condemned for his actions. And schools should be more honest when teaching this subject to children. But schools are dishonest all the time. Like that time they told you that going to college is a good idea, and that time they told you that the Great Depression was caused by free markets, and that time they told you that Woodrow Wilson was a great president.

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