Environmentalism: This is why we can't have nice things

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I enjoy a lot of things. Video games, pizza, beer, going to the movies, running, yoga, anal sex[1], cookies, watching sports, oral sex[2], traveling, shopping, going to the beach, going to Disneyland, vaginal sex, and supermarkets that give me free plastic bags to carry my groceries just to name a few.

[1]Just giving.
[2]Both giving and receiving.

You know what I don't enjoy? Paying for gasoline. I have never once thought to myself "I really wish I could pay more to fuel my car". Come to think of it, I don't like paying for anything, really. If everyone offered me their products and services for free, I would be delighted. Paying for shit takes effort and thought. Paying for shit also costs money, and having less money makes it difficult for me to enjoy life.

Which is why I'm baffled about how people honestly believe that $2 gasoline is the worst thing to happen to America.

I love how the sponsor of this story is Natural Gas Now, a blog that advocates for fracking.

Hey Mark Morford, not sure if you're an expert on this country's history, but you know which event was more damaging to America than cheap gasoline? 9/11. You know, that time when a handful of Muslim extremists hijacked planes and crashed them into buildings. It only killed a few thousand Americans, lead to two wars, shook the economy, nearly ruined the airline industry, and encouraged the federal government to pass legislation allowing the military to detain citizens without due process (as well as monitor the phone activity of every American). Suggesting that cheap gasoline is "the worst thing to happen to America" simply because it might derail the electric car industry, and because it might discourage people from shopping locally, and because it might encourage people to drive more is a complete insult to the victims and the people who lost loved ones in the World Trade Center attack, the Pentagon attack, the ensuing wars, and other tragic, war-causing events in American history.

And guess what? Militant Islam is only getting worse. One of the reasons why the Islamic State is growing and getting stronger is because of oil sales, which is estimated to earn the terrorist group over $3 million per day. By demonizing Obama as "the oil president", and condemning the practice of fracking, it appears that Mark Morford is against the United States producing oil. If anything, oil production in Canada and the United States will weaken ISIS because it will devalue their oil, forcing them to sell it for less. Imagine how rich ISIS would become if the United States and Canada stopped producing oil, and everyone turned to the Middle East and Vladimir Putin for energy? Not a comforting thought, is it dumbass?

So if you don't want a 747 flying into your office anytime soon, I suggest you quit your bitching and enjoy saving money at the pump. If you truly think it's so important that Americans switch to alternative forms of energy and electric cars, Mark, then you would take that money that you're saving on gasoline and invest it into companies like Tesla Motors and Solar City, or put that money away and save for an electric car for yourself. I have yet to see Elon Musk whine and cry about the non-problem that is the energy crisis. Why? Because Elon Musk too busy finding solutions.

Mark goes onto say that "there is nothing good about cheap gasoline in America" and that "the general social good is shunned and scoffed at anew". Yeah, I guess besides cheaper food, cheaper products, cheaper transportation, and the fact that everything in general will be less expensive. And who benefits the most from economic efficiency? Poor people. It's pretty difficult to eat when moving the food from the farm to my mouth becomes expensive. The only one scoffing at the general social good is an assclown like Mark Morford, who wants $6 per gallon gas.

This is why I don't trust environmentalists. Environmentalists hate America, and they hate themselves. No rational person would ever advocate to work more than they needed to in order enjoy their life, and people that lack reason should not be trusted. Especially if they're advocating to make the lives of everyone worse. The higher the cost of energy and fuel, the more impossible it becomes to enjoy all of the nice things I mentioned in the beginning. Thus, if environmentalist dipshits like Mark Morford get their way, then environmentalism will in fact be the reason why we can't have nice things.

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