For everyone not from the Detroit area, there was a ton of buzz leading up to this past weekend.
Dennis Rodman was in town for his number retirement ceremony at the Piston's game on Friday night. Charlie Sheen was in town kicking off his "Torpedo of Truth" tour. And Snoop Dogg was supposed to be in town as well, making an appearance at Sheen's live show. The combination lead to numerous jokes amongst Detroiters leading up to this weekend, all along the lines of
"Uh oh. Dennis Rodman, Snoop Dogg, AND Charlie Sheen are all gonna be in DETROIT at the same time. Some shit's 'bout to be CRAZY!"
For those who have not heard, Charlie Sheen's show in Detroit sold out pretty quick. Not only that, but ticket prices were not the cheapest. I know the Detroit Public School's system is struggling, Ricky Snyder just got elected, and most of the intelligent people continue to flee the state in search of jobs, but I did not know that people in the area were this dumb.
Charlie Sheen's winning streak is coming to an end
Anyways, Charlie Sheen's live show was a huge failure, which came as a surprise to the people that went. People booed Sheen, several heading for the exits just fifteen minutes into his show. Several more heckling Sheen, chanting things like "re-fund". It was headline news on the local papers (which probably have about the same life span as Charlie Sheen at this point) and even made some buzz on national news. After all, the U.S. is only fighting three wars, Japan is only under water, people still cannot decide whether or not Obama is a socialist. There just is not enough stuff to fit on the front page of newspapers and home pages of national news websites these days.
Forget the fact that the media has been over-covering his life for the past few months, to the point where it's impossible to ignore. Forget the fact that he is at the point where nothing from his is surprising or shocking anymore. Forget the fact that his live Internet shows have been beyond boring and disappointing.
Celebrities get into scandals and drug problems all the time, a lot of the time racking up millions in debt. Celebrities like comedians and musicians are able to bounce back because they can always do live shows to salvage their bank accounts (think Motley Crue, Michael Jackson, Artie Lang). Athletes can usually find work by becoming a coach or general manager at some level (think Isaiah Thomas). The rest can usually get some sort of reality show deal in the works. Given, not all of these schemes prove to be successful, but at least there's a fallback option.
Actors and actresses are essentially fucked. They cannot really do live tours because most of them barely perform in front of live audiences. Not to mention the fact that their content is usually written and scripted for them. Some are able to bounce back from drugs by doing motivational lectures at colleges and other venues (think Jodie Sweetin). However, in order to achieve that, you need to be over your addiction and totally clean, so that potential users know the risks and know how difficult it can be to overcome such issues.
The bad news for Charlie Sheen is that he is not over his problems yet, thus nobody will ever take any motivational speech from his seriously. Anything that he has performed live was written for him by a team of writers. Not to mention, because he has put himself out there so much over the past few months, any network would be beating a dead horse by handing him a reality show.
In all honesty, I am tired of Charlie Sheen at this point. It was fun at first when he was saying the most ridiculous, narcissistic things that any human has ever said. Which believe me, nobody loves narcissism more than I do. It's the same reason why I cannot get enough Tucker Max, Dick Masterson, Maddox, Tom Leykis, and Mystery. I eat this sort of shit up.
I was done with Sheen when he did his first UStream show. I didn't really have high expectations, but I did not want to run the risk of potentially missing out on something amazing. Well, nothing amazing happened. Worse yet, nobody really trolled him. It was a disappointment on all levels, and after that I felt that everything he said or did on camera/Twitter was forced. Instead of coming up with more ridiculous things to say, he just repeats his popular catch phrases that everyone loved three weeks ago. ZzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz. Even most one hit wonders don't last that three weeks on the pop charts.
Imagine if Chuck Norris went on a tour after all of his Internet facts became popular, and all he did was repeat his best "facts" and tried to act tough. Would you honestly pay more than $20 to go see him do a live show? It's sort of like that one friend that everyone always knows, they'll say one clever thing at the right moment, make an entire room laugh, and so they'll try to use that same joke everywhere they go and whenever the opportunity calls for it.
When I heard that his show in Detroit sold out for the prices that tickets were going for (a lot of the tickets being $75.00 or more), I was stunned. The Charlie Sheen water cooler talk had already died down a little, and I didn't think that many people were dumb enough to pay to see Charlie Sheen, a man who has zero track record of ever doing a solo live performance by himself on tour, put on a show by himself. Once again, even when/if his sitcoms were truly shot in front of a live studio audience, his content was always written for him and he always had other people to work with. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this sort of shit out. After all, thave even been celebrities that never had drug or money problems that have failed to perform live (Shaq, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Richards).
In an odd way, part of me feels bad for Sheen. I know what you're thinking: How could someone possibily feel sympathy for a man who was born into a strong acting family (thus had a much easier road than most aspiring actors), someone who has made millions of dollars making countless popular flicks, who has boned numerous beautiful women that most men couldn't get in a thousand decades (which is roughly 10,000 years), and appears to not care about himself or his children?
One of the biggest blows to human morale is losing power. Being on the downside of a prime. Falling off a cliff. Realizing you're over the hill. Why are these things such morale killers? Because it reminds us that we're getting old, and thus closer to death. Or something along those lines. It's why people choose to believe in deities and afterlife: because they want to think that there is something better after their current life. I am almost confident that Sheen will either end up dead at a young age, or finally come to his senses after it's too late. Sure, there have been people able to bounce back (think Robert Downy Jr) .
However, Sheen's situation is far different than most cases. He was on the right track for a while, getting the masses' attention and becoming popular to the point to where he could capitalize off of it. But, with this reluctance to come back to "Two and a Half Men", failing at a live show, burning bridges with both his network executives and his target audiences at his shows, as well as displaying that he may be a potential headache to work with, how many people will continue to watch him? How much longer will people want to watch him?How many people will be willing to work with him? Whereas a lot of celebrities; whether it be actors, athletes, or musicians; will progressively fade away, I feel that Sheen will come crashing down. And when he does, he will be broke with limited bounce-back options. It would like if you were the king of an empire, and you woke up one day on a deserted island with nothing. Is there anything more depressing or more demoralizing than that?