About Me


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My name is Kirk Wilcox, and I'm a douche.

You're probably wondering why I am putting myself down, describing myself with the word "douche", which is a term generally used as an insult. I call myself a douche because it's true, and I want to be honest with people who are unfamiliar with me. It even says so on my business card[1] -



I like to hand these out to hot babes and potential clients. But mostly hot babes.


[1]My business card was made by Kiki Keller. She is pretty awesome, and I plan on working with her on other projects. If you need any artwork, graphic design, or illustration done, I strongly recommend Kiki.

Anyway, if it was not obvious enough, allow me to spell things out for you: I am a total attention prostitute. I think that everything that I do and create is brilliant, amusing, entertaining, stunning, and awesome. But only when I first publish the project. Every time I make something new, I get really fucking excited. I'm all like -



I usually get bored with the said project after a few months, and start loathing it. This is what my reaction to a project 90 after posting it -



Anyway, I started my website back in October, 2009. Before that, I wrote countless Facebook notes and rants during college, and noticed that my notes were getting rather popular. It seemed like every week, someone who I was friends with on Facebook (but not really friends with in real life) would approach me at the cafeteria, library, bar, or wherever and tell me about how awesome my Facebook notes are. I did not really think anything of it, until my friend had his friend from out of town visit. I had never met this guy before, and even he told me that he had read a Facebook note of mine, and that he found it very amusing.

It was then I realized that I could have a successful blog if my audience were not restricted to just my Facebook friends. I also began doing stand-up comedy in April of 2007, and knew that I would need to launch a website sooner or later. And my comic strip, Prophet Pals, was also rather popular[2]. So I started this here website, and have been updating as much as I can ever since. For a while, during 2011, I changed the website name to "Kirk Wilcox-Domestic Foreigners", after my friend and I's comedy production, Domestic Foreigners. Some of our productions are still up on YouTube. Domestic Foreigners ceased productions in September of 2011, and is one of the biggest regrets of my entire life.

[2]By popular, I mean it got more than 15 "likes" on Facebook. That's a lot!



As my website evolved, so did my updates. In 2011, I began making video sketches on YouTube, as well as webisodes for my channel. My two main series consist of "My Sexy Boyfriend" and "Kirk's Library". "My Sexy Boyfriend" started out as a promo for a stand-up show I was doing, where it was pretty much me being a total dork in front of a green screen. My girlfriend at the time told me to call the video "My Sexy Boyfriend", because of the irony. It got pretty popular[3], mainly because Joey's Comedy Club posted it on their Facebook page every day for two weeks. Since then, I started doing consistent updates where I talk about random nonsense. I even had my buddy, Kent Tucker, cohost for a few episodes. Be he died.

[3]By popular, I mean it got four likes on YouTube. That's a lot!

Captain Garbagewater was a very short-lived web series


"Kirk's Library" is a series that I started where I review video games in my private library. I currently own hundreds of video games for NES, Super Nintendo, Sony PlayStation, PS2, Virtual Boy, GameBoy, Nintendo DS, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Wii, Sega Dreamcast, and Sega Genesis. I have tried to start other series, such as Captain Garbagewater. But a lot of people told me that my Southern accent his atrocious, and to never try that ever again. So I only did one episode.

And as I said before, I started doing stand-up comedy in April, 2007. I have opened for Hannibal Buress (Comedy Central, writer for SNL), Lee Camp (Daily Show), Josh Sneed, and others. I have also performed - wait hold on -

My iTunes playlist was set to shuffle, and started playing some song by Nickelback[4]. I needed to get bandages for my ears and change it to a song that didn't suck ass.

[4]To answer your question: I don't know why Nickelback is in my iTunes Library either.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I have also performed at the famous Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Joey's Comedy Club in Livonia, and various other venues around the state of Michigan. If you want to book me, E-mail me here with the word "booking" in the subject field. I work for smells. Because unless you're at Jimmy John's (where smells are free), smells are very fucking expensive.

My comedy, writing, and sense of humor has a plethora of influences. Here's a list of people that have inspired me to do what I do:


Jesus



Alright, that was a joke. Here's a list of the people, characters, and programs that really inspired me.

Tom Leykis
Batman
Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Louis CK
George Carlin
Lewis Black
Bill Simmons
Maddox
Bugs Bunny
Seth MacFarlane
Tucker Max
George Lowe/Space Ghost/Cartoon Planet
Sick Animation
Nostalgia Critic/That Guy with the Glasses
Angry Video Game Nerd/James Rolfe
Jenna Marbles
Dave Cappelle
Stone Cold Steve Austin
NotMikeDunleavy
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Zack (the black Power Ranger)
Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim
Mark Cuban


That pretty much sums it up. I try to update as much as I can, but refuse to update for the sake of updating. If I ever stop updating, it's because I ran out of ideas. Or because I got lazy. Or because I passed away. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my website. If you don't, then go find something else to cure your boredom.

Damn I look good.




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