Get Rid of the Postal Service

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Who uses the United States Postal Service anymore? Really. Besides the occasional dinosaur that still sends letters, despite the fact the electronic mail (also known as e-mail) made that shit obsolete 15 years ago. What's crazier is that social networking services like Facebook and Google+ have almost made e-mail obsolete by now. Which makes the USPS even more obsolete.

The United States Federal Government continues to waste billions of taxpayer dollars on the fucking Postal Service. Which wouldn't bother me that much, except for the fact that the Postal Service is bleeding so much money that they cannot even afford tape anymore. I had to ship a package out yesterday, and the assholes at the Post Office made me buy a fucking roll of tape to seal my box with. This is what my fucking tax dollars pays for? Not to mention the fact that they waste even more money on TV commercials, telling local businesses to use the fucking Postal Service to "reach their customers".

First of all, Postal Service, you're totally contradicting yourself by using television. If the Postal Service is such a great way to advertise, then why not use it yourselves, hypocrites? Secondly, who the fuck in their right mind would use the Postal Service to "reach their customers", when it costs money, and Facebook does a much more efficient job for free?

In fact, I hate getting mail. Every time I receive mail, I want to dropkick a baby panda. Normally, I would simply throw all of my mail away whenever I receive it. But no, I constantly have banks, credit card companies, and mortgage companies[1] sending me loan offers, which I have to hold onto and shred to avoid identity theft.

[1]Fucking assholes, my house is paid off. I hate having debt. I'm not going to take a loan out against my house just to have more money in my pocket. Stop sending me shit already.

With that said, do we really need the Postal Service anymore? It's much more of an inconvenience than it is a convenience. I don't use it to pay bills, because I pay all of my bills online like a civilized human being. And it's a pain in the ass to simply toss unwanted mail all mail in the garbage because it might end up in a dump where shady people can obtain your personal information. It's also a total waste of taxer money, and does not do a fucking thing for the American people.

Also, Planned Parenthood, please stop sending me shit. I know that I donated to you last year, but for fuck's sake, did my money really just go to pay someone to send out letters all day asking donors for more money? I've donated to the Michael J Fox Foundation and other charities, and they send me donation requests maybe twice a year. Planned Parenthood sends me shit more than twice a fucking month. It's asinine. I understand that you need money, Planned Parenthood. But if you needed money that bad, then you should have taken the $500,000 from Tucker Max and named an abortion clinic after him. Not my fault that Planned Parenthood is financially irresponsible and uses donation money to send out requests for more donations.

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