Kanye West - The Ultimate Asshole

I told myself I wouldn't fall for it. I told myself not to do it. I couldn't help it.

I was watching CNN last night, waiting for Adult Swim to start. I thought I'd check my usual routine of websites:

The Best Page in the Universe
CMU Portal
and occasionally MySpace

I never got to Sportsline because I could not help but notice that everyone was bitching about Kanye West being a douche bag, as if it had not been apparent over the last four years that Kanye West holds the title for being the biggest asshole in music, along with the most popular rapper in a period where rap is suffering worse than Wall Street (de dum ch!)

After reading the 8,934,259,121,496,527,622,485,192,422,986,290,301,444,191,289,070,452,888,321,328,555,298,011,293rd status update about how bad of a person Kanye West was, I was really curious to know what he in fact done to generate such outrage? Did he laugh at a handicapped child? Did he pork Whoopie Goldberg? Did he ethnically cleanse Native Americans again? Did he support nationalized health care? I honestly wasn't sure. So before going to Sportsline, I logged onto *********'s website to watch the clip, because Viacom is full of Nazi's who like to constantly monitor YouTube to ensure that media that they create does not end up on there.

If you're wondering why I asterisked the website, it's because the network goes out of their way to censor companies that do not sponsor them, so I thought I would play fair. Besides, if you have not figured out whose website it was, I'm willing to bet you cannot read, defeating the purpose of this explanation.

So I watched the clip. And I laughed. I am still laughing. Go Kanye West. I love nothing more than watching people be mean to other people. What I don't understand is why everyone was so pissed off? I mean come the fuck on. It's Taylor Swift. She won a VMA. She gets paid millions of dollars a year for doing what she loves, which roughly 99% of the people on the planet cannot say. Furthermore, she probably gets here ass kissed everywhere she goes, so what harm is it when Kanye West, someone who is notorious for being a total cock, publicly insults her? At the end of the day, when she flies first class to her mansion in California, gets to read millions of e-mails from her stupid fans telling her how much they love her, and using a roll of hundred dollar bills as tampons, does anybody really sympathize with her?

What pissed me off is how she handled the situation. She did not do a damn thing. I know I already mentioned this in a status, but how funny would it have been if she had made a callback to South Park, and asked Kanye if he liked fish sticks? I know what you're going to say, is that Taylor Swift probably doesn't watch South Park. Well that's her problem. Everyone should watch South Park. If you don't, you're a part of the problem, and are a liar and a traitor, and a member of the rebel alliance.

Furthermore, who the fuck watches the ***'s anyways, or *** for that matter? That event has not been entertaining in nearly a decade. Remember when the ***'s had great bands like Rage Against the Machine, Guns N' Roses, Beastie Boys, Nirvana, Snoop Doggy Dogg, 2pac, Aerosmith, Blink 182, Van Halen, Michael Jackson, Korn, Eminem, Pre-shitty Green Day, No Doubt, White Snake, and the Beats? I probably missed a lot of other greats, but regardless, I don't think there has been an act close to the talent just mentioned in years. In fact, the talent was so bad this year, that the highlight was Kanye West being a douche bag like usual.

Also, as a former and maybe future video producer, it angers me that *** puts on an entire event for music videos where the artist gets recognition. More than half the time, it's a director, writer, team of coordinators, and producer actually making the videos, and they never get any fucking credit. And really, does anybody really like music videos anymore? I never really liked music videos to begin with, and would always get angry when my sister would use the only television with cable in the house to watch *** and VH1 when we were kids (unless Bevis and Butthead or Tom Green was on, which they never were when she was watching). Besides, the only music videos worth watching are Thriller, Freak on a Leash, and We Didn't Start the Fire, and anything made for the Beastie Boys or Eminem. Unless Rocky training montages and hardcore pornography count as music videos, which they don't.