Indiana Jones is not that Great

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One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone starts talking up a shitty movie or a series of shitty movies that I have never seen, ask me if I have seen it, and then flip their shit at me when I tell them that I have not seen the said movie. "You haven't seen 'Wedding Crashers'? Dude, you gotta see it! It's the best movie ever!".

Rarely do I ever find overhyped movies worth the watch. The only exception is when the custodian at my high school told me how great "The Passion of the Christ" was. I never planned on watching it, but caught it while flipping through channels one day, and found it to be one of the most humorous comedies that I have ever seen. I tried to find the custodian so that I could thank him for the good advice, only to discover that he is in prison for having sex with animals.

One of the movie series that still receives a ton of praise and acclaim is the Indiana Jones saga. I always saw Indiana Jones referenced in various shows (like Family Guy and South Park), and I have numerous friends that have tried to convince me to watch them. I was a sophomore in college when I heard that "Kingdom of Crystal Skull" was in production. I thought I would take the opportunity to finally watch the first three, so that I would be caught up by the time the new one hit theaters. My boss at my summer job had all three on VHS, and let me borrow the movies.

And to be honest, I'm still confused. What the hell do people see in these movies? They're fucking kid's movies. Ooooooo, a college professor runs around third world countries trying to find precious artifacts before some bad guys get their hands on them! ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz. It sounds like a plot for an episode/book of "The Magic School Bus". The plots are boring, there is very little character development, there is no symbolism, I feel no emotions while watching the movies (except for annoyance whenever Short Round talks), they don't move or inspire me, and the only two interesting characters in the entire series are Indiana and his dad. And I really hate to play the Atheist card here, I can sometimes suspend disbelief for paranormal/supernatural-related movies like "The Exorcist". But for shit like the Covenant of the Ark or the Holy Grail? Sorry, cannot buy it.

Who knows? Maybe it was an episode of "The Magic School Bus"

Don't get me wrong, aside from "Temple of Doom", "Kingdom of Crystal Skull", and "Raiders of the Lost Ark", these movies are not that awful. They definitely hit their target demographics pretty well: Children, families, small-minded people, and perhaps religious people. But it's not like they're must-see epics like "Star Wars", "Robocop", "Terminator", "Batman" (Nolan saga), or "Rambo".

People only like Indiana Jones movies because of the nostalgia factor. After all, I still enjoy watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live-action flicks. However, I don't pretend like they're amazing films that would be enjoyed by people who are unfamiliar with Ninja Turtles. Just because people enjoy films for the nostalgia does not make the films amazing. I have the same issue with the first "Transformers" film - Transformers fans everywhere shat their pants and thought it was awesome, when in fact it was just a boring, campy, watered-down kid's movie (until the last 20 minutes) that made me never want to watch Transformers ever again. People did not love Transformers because it was a quality movie - People just got excited because they got to relive their childhood. Both Indiana Jones and Transformers also feature Shia Labeouf, and Shia Labeouf sucks.

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