Christmas is Bullshit


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I hate Christmas. Hell, I have contempt toward this whole "Holiday Season" rubbish. I hate everything from Santa Clause to Frosty to menorahs to nativity scenes.

This whole "it's the time of giving" theme needs to end as well. Time of giving? Give what? Give ungrateful people more useless shit that they don't need? Why not give to people that actually need shit, like perhaps ship a couple pallets of fresh water to a third world country? I always see adults buying other adults new crap like toasters, knives, hammers, and other shit they don't really need because they already have those items at home.

Then I see dumbasses buy their girlfriends expensive jewelry that they won't appreciate in 10 months. What's the point? It's not like you're going to be together forever anyway. Wearing jewelry also makes you look like a dipshit. Nothing says "look at me, my husband and I don't invest our money properly" more than when some bitch wears a $5,000 tennis bracelet.

Every year someone always gets me shit that I never use. Look at some of the things I have received over the years:


Who the fuck puts these decals on their vehicles in the first place? This is something you would see on PeopleOfWalmart




This gift wouldn't be so bad had I received it nine years before I was 21.




I'm sure this will be a hot seller after I donate it to the Salvation Army.




What the fuck? Who ever needs a pack of fake eyebrows?




Just kidding. This is actually the best gift I have ever received.




I was surprised to find out that this actually spent a week on Billboard's top ten list.

Just listen to how atrocious the Hulkster's music is.




All of these useless gifts clog my bedroom because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by throwing it away, then the people tell me that my house is a mess. Fuck it, I'm being a dick from now on. Either I trash the gift in front of the person, and they get me better gifts the next year. Or, I trash the gift, they get pissed off, and don't get me gifts ever again. Regardless of the outcome, the prick will not give me stupid presents.

*****************************BAD SEGUE TIME!*****************************


The worst is all these gimmick games like "Secret Santa" and "White Elephant". These are the fastest ways to crappy gifts because people always piss money away on "gag" gifts or other cheap items that are irrelevant.

I remember one time I had to buy some dumbass a plush giraffe because it was on their list. Who really needs that? Stuffed animals are for children and psychopaths. It's the reason why they are popular prizes at carnivals, because only creepy people that enjoy stuffed animals run carnivals.

White Elephants have their moments though. Primarily when I brought a hamster to one, because whoever opened it got stuck with the obligation of having to take care of it, because hamsters are shitty pets to raise. While it was all wrapped up on the table, everyone kept shaking it up in hopes of hearing the contents inside the box. I was told afterward to not bring any live presents anymore, so I brought a dead skunk the following year. Best day of my life.