Yesterday after walking out of 7-11, I was approached by a man whom asked me for money for food. I assumed that the man was homeless because people who can afford a place to live can usually afford a decent set of clothes, healthy personal hygiene, and food as well. I informed this person that I had zero cash on me because I only carry credit cards, and he wished me a swell rest of the day.
Then I got to thinking: What if instead of giving homeless people money, I make them earn it? Something like buying them a cheap meal at a restaurant in exchange for a podcast interview. After all, a lot of homeless people are crazy, and are likely to have amusing stories, opinions, and philosophy. At the very least, if they're not crazy, maybe they have stories and messages that we can learn from. Learn from their mistakes, learn how and why people become homeless, etc.
I went to the Comedy Store later in the day to sign up for the Potluck Comedy Show (their version of an open mic). When I got there, I was greeted by a man with poor hygiene, dirty clothes, and whom appeared to be intoxicated. He offered me wine out of a bottled-water bottle, and after I declined his offer, he proceeded to brag about how he stole the wine from a nearby liquor store because they refused to let him use the restroom. I then stepped away, because he was beginning to rub me the wrong way. It's not every day that I wash my hands before taking a piss, but after I high fived this filthy animal, I decided that it would be a good idea to make an exception on this day. While I was minding my own business, I overheard him bragging to another gentleman about how he one time fucked a black guy in the ass because "He only pitches, never catches".
I posted all of this on Facebook. After it received a pretty solid response from my friends, I decided to use the Voice Memo app on my iPhone to record his ramblings when he approached me again. I discovered that he goes by "Brian the Lion", and talked to him for about ten minutes, but the clip below is pretty much the best of what he had to say.
If enough people like this and find this amusing, I might try to make it a recurring post. So let me know what you think.