21 Ways to be a Gentleman

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After having one of the most intense debates on a Facebook status ever, my friend sent me a page about "modern chivalry". I think she did it as a joke, because her status was about chivalry, and being the gentleman that I am, said that chivalry is outdated, and that men should not participate.

Anyways, for fun, I wanted to address every point in this article that she sent me. It's title "21 Ways to be a Gentlemen in the 21st Century", and it is written by Melanie from Northeastern University.

1. Always offer to pay for drinks, even if you know she’ll refuse.

NEVER offer to pay for drinks. Especially if you are meeting her for the first time at a bar or club. I have only bought a woman a drink once, and it was because I lost a bet. If you are on a date, it's more understandable. Just remember to never spend more than $40 on a date (if you're in college, you probably want to keep it around $20-30. If you're in high school, good job on getting in the bar you minor).

2. Never layer collared shirts. Even more importantly, keep those collars down.

Part of me agrees. You always want to look well groomed, but try not to be cliche with your attire.

3. Don’t blow her off for video games. Real sports games? Acceptable with a forewarning. Impromptu Madden tournament? Not so much.

If you played a ton of video games before you started dating ,and she does not like the fact that you enjoy video games, then kick her to the curb. You should not change just because a woman does not want you to play video games. She knew what she was getting into, and if she does not like if, she was not meant for you.

4. Even if her best friend is a perfect 10 smoke show? Don’t let on that you think so. Ogle her on Facebook instead.

I say be brutally honest. She might get motivated and start hitting the gym.

5. Don’t text at dinner.

Agreed. But if she answers her cell phone or texts on the middle of a date, excuse yourself, don't tell her where you are going, and leave. Leave her with the tab, and never call her back.

6. Open doors. Pull out chairs. Let her order first. Simple manners.

Don't ever do any of those things. It displays your weakness and she will lose respect for you, and walk all over you.

7. Don’t make her walk of shame home at 4 AM, shoeless and in a ridiculous outfit. Even worse if it’s a slutty Halloween costume. Would you like to be traipsing home in the wee hours wearing nothing but a slutty school girl kilt and tank top after getting tossed out of some dude’s bunkbed? Not. Cool.

I probably would not, but if she has it coming, she has it coming.

8. Let her watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” or whatever girly show she likes without mocking it the entire way through. Bonus points for putting it on your DVR.

Let her watch her stupid shows, but men should not play video games? That's not a double standard at all.

9. No, she doesn’t look fat in that dress. Yes, even if she does.

She should not look fat in that dress in the first place. If she does, it's time to upgrade!

10. Do not ever, EVER push her head or hand downtown.

I agree. Terrible move.

11. Don’t be ashamed of her in front of your buddies, even if she’s sipping wine coolers instead of Bud Light when you’re all hanging out.

Never bring her around your buddies. Your friends and your girl should be separate at all times. I can go on all day about this topic. Guys HATE IT when their guy friends bring their stupid girlfriends around. They are not the same person, and there is usually tension between the parties. Even if she embarrasses you, deal with it.

12. Even if you don’t care, ask her about family/friends/shopping excursion. You’ll make her smile, guaranteed.

Only ask her while she's giving you oral sex, because then she'll be less obligated to talk!

13. Farting isn’t funny, but occasionally tolerable. Dutch ovening? Never acceptable.

Agreed. Terrible move. However, never pass up on a dutch oven.

14. Please warn her before you bust. Surprises in the form of gifts are nice, but not so much when they are hot sticky ones in her eye.

Better in her face than in her ovaries!

15. Once in a while, suggest she wears something that you like to see her in. She’ll be impressed and flattered by the compliment, provided you’re not asking her to wear lingerie out on the town.

If your girl does not look good in everything she wears, then it's time to upgrade.

16. Plan something. Anything. Even just a dinner and a movie. Pull some weight in the social planning, even if it’s just once in a while.

Agreed. It's always good when you (the man) are in control.

17. If she, you know, for lack of a better term, slobs on your knob (thank you 3 6 Mafia), return the favor please! Unless she’s not a fan, in which case, prove to her that she should be one.

Never volunteer or ask for anything. If she offers, that's her own problem. Don't ever do anything you don't want to do.

18. Messed up? Apologies are always better with chocolate.

I say apologize, then promise that you will give her an orgasm next time you guys have sex. Chocolate if a gift, and you should never buy a woman unexpected gifts. On top of that, chocolate has a ton of calories.

19. Kiss her on the cheek in public once in a while. A little PDA isn’t awful and reminds her how much you care about her. Just no sloppy make outs. That’s just gross.

PDA is for tools.

20. Keep your word. Don’t say things you don’t mean. If you promise something, stick to it.

It actually it a personal pet peeve of mine that people blow me off or show up late. Agreed.

21. No socks with sandals. Wrong, wrong, wrong.